there is no arbitrary title to this madness.

I believe there should be a fortune cookie out there that says: in twelve minutes, throw your cell phone into the river. Everyone should recieve this fortune cookie with their chow mein. And, finally, when everyone's cell phones are pebbles in chilled, electric river water, then we can justifiably throw a party and rejoice in the new, less invasive methods of communication we will be forced to produce.

I don't understand why people do the ugly things they do in the name of progress, consumerism, and model worship.
I went to walmart today, where invariably I lose my patience, because things there are messy and beige-smelling, and because the traffic in the aisles is unapologetic when they run over your shoe. My goal was to aquire an electric blanket, because I am freezing, and chocolate wafers, for making ice cream sandwhiches of my own for my sister. But, inevitably, there is no geriatric section to stock the electric blankets when they are not "in season" (old people are cold year round, no?), and I become perturbed, because i am really cold. But, in the spirit of handling it, I try to find the chocolate wafers, which are stocked year-round in publix, but which are nonexistant in walmart. I am frustrated, and am freaking out a lot inside, because it is crowded, and this one girl in a yellow shirt is showing up everywhere I am (!) and throwing six jars of peanut butter into her cart (!! six jars !!). She is making me mad. The people wearing unflattering shirts are making me mad. I hate that they are all around me, taking up all of the inches of space, and breathing all the free air, and filling that leftover space with carbon monxide and poison and the odor of whatever they ate that morning. The fact that they are all slow and confused and cowlike makes me realize that i am still a little retarded, and I need to calm down, because dear God, what did these people do? -nothing. They have survived the Cold War unscathed. They have lept borders to make it here, to this Walmart, with me. They are buying peanut butter in bulk because they have the consummeristic right to. They are staring into mirrors and spreading lip gloss around their faces and they are glaring and they are overdressed and underdressed and undressed because they CAN, they CAN DO IT. Who am I, but a miniscule person, to stand in the way of their Walmart experience. I am the Walmart grinch, except he turned around in the end, and I never did.
Just like I scorned the Kroger in Towne Lake for refusing to take back my brother's two steaks he bought- which cost way too much money and were superfluous in every way- and for being especially mean about it. Just like I stood in the automatic doors of that establishment and lifted my fist in the spirit of all of my comrades out there and shouted, "I Scorn This Establishment!" I really did it! I love having a part in the fight! I love everyone and I hate no one, even if they own a cell phone, which is a new development for me!
The End for awhile!