oh

i live here, surrounded by everything i could ever need, things which could last me twelve lifetimes. i am provided with necessities- unquestioned necessities- pillows, bread, blankets, warmth, light, water, air, toothpaste, soap, etc- i am never lost for anything. food is always around. we have a washing machine, a microwave, a mop. we are well equipped. i have my own room- i have my own bed- i have my own things. and even more than that, i have been given other gifts- music, books, softness, color. i can laugh and i do, often. and i am also not without love- i have a family, i have more people than i can count, some whom i don't even know, but who love me because i am one of God's; and i have a cat who loves me very much and whose love i reciprocate. my life is open in front of me- and i am so unspeakably grateful, fall down on your face grateful, so humbly grateful. i want to take it all and give it back to the God who gave it to me, give it to others, share it with them. i have a profoundly happy life- i want for nothing; and even if i did, it would not matter, as long as i had my God-. i want to multiply all these things and let them keep others warm, too-

shouting

i have lost my words and they have been gone awhile. even so, it would be really nice to talk to somebody. i want to listen to someone, to give them what they need. i would love a connection right about now. i want to love somebody and help them. i want to get out of myself. i want to put my all into somebody else.